11 tips for controlling our emotions

Let’s face it working with anyone can be challenging. We all have our beliefs and ideals as well as different work ethics. There’s brown nosers and tattletales. Bullies and drama queens. Then of course the office gossip. Being a female in a male dominated field has all that plus the added sexual harassment, the belief that you aren’t capable to lead, stereotyping us ladies as the pit mom or maid for their messes. This is real. Women have to be better than their male peers in order to even be on the job. All that being said throughout your days with so much to keep you on your toes someone is bound to say some thing rude or nasty. Reacting without stopping to think of the consequences can damage your reputation as well as your career.

Here are 11 different tips to help keep outbursts and repercussions to a minimum

“Don’t be distracted by emotions like anger, envy, resentment. These just zap energy and waste time.” Ruth Bader Ginsburg

1. Take a look at the impact of your emotions

We all have the capacity to be emotionally overwhelmed. Emotions that are perceived as bad and good. How do you know when it’s crossed a line?

Out of control emotions can lead to

  • Relationship or friendship conflict
  • Difficulty relating to others
  • Trouble at work or school
  • An urge to numb yourself with illicit drugs
  • Physical or emotional out bursts

Find some time to take stock of just how your uncontrolled emotions are affecting your day-to-day life. This will make it easier to identify problem areas (and track your success).

2. Shoot for regulation instead of repression

When we suppress or repress our emotions we keep ourselves from experiencing amd then expressing our emotions. We may do this consciously [suppression] or unconsciously [repression] This can lead to several mental and physical health issues.

Some symptoms include but aren’t limited to

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Sleep issues like insomnia
  • Muscle tension and pain
  • Chronic back pain
  • Trouble managing stress
  • Substance abuse problems

When learning to manage your emotions be wary of stuffing them away ignoring them or becoming numb to them.  Healthy expression involves finding a balance between overwhelming emotions and none at all.

3. Identify what you’re feeling

It’s important to take the time to check with yourself about what mood you’re in. This will help ground you. Example. Say you and your boy friend just started living with one another. You work late. You’re hungry and tired when you get home but he waits for you. After he helps you outta the car and you guys are settled inside he says he thinks you might be lying about working late. You with out thinking yell throw a huge fit and storm out of the room in tears. Tripping up the stairs as you go twisting your ankle.

During this process at any time try interrupting yourself asking

  • What am i feeling right now <fear, exhaustion, hunger, and confusion>
  • What happened to make me feel this way<They did not trust me and I worked late with no lunch>
  • Is there some other explanation for their behavior<maybe they’re afraid, past trauma>
  • What do I wanna do about these feelings<hurt him like he’s hurting me>
  • Is there a better way to cope with these emotions<be patient and try to understand why he feels this way, excuse yourself til you shower and eat>

Considering your choices reframes your thought process and will help you make necessary changes helping you avoid that first extreme reaction.

Like with any habit this one will take effort and time to break. With practice this will be easier and become more and more effective.

4. Accept ALL of your emotions

It’s easy to mistakingly downplay your emotions to yourself.  When you’re crying and hyperventilating it is easy to say to yourself “this is no big deal”  “calm down” but doing this only invalidates you.

By accepting your emotions you become more comfortable with them with out acting in extreme ways.

Emotions are not good or bad they’re neutral. They might bring up bad feelings but in reality they’re just giving us info we can use

Accepting emotions may greater life satisfaction and fewer mental health symptoms. What’s more, people thinking of their emotions as helpful gives higher levels of happiness.

5. Keep a mood journal

Find patterns by Journaling. Old school journals are nifty but to journal on the go you have options. Personally I like using my notes app. Poetry and Journaling and it’s in my phone for reference later. This tip works best if done daily.

6. Take a deep breath

Yes easy as that. Next time you feel yourself slipping out of control try these steps

  • Breath in slowly. Breathe from your diaphragm not the chest
  • Hold it and count to 3
  • Consider a positive affirmation say it to yourself as you breath

7. Know when to express yourself

We all get it. Losing a loved one or going thru a break up is hard. Punching pillows and screaming in the desert are perfectly appropriate places to react this way. Yelling at your boss for unfair schedule not so much. Be aware of your surroundings and mindful of what you say and how you behave in front of important peoples.

8. Give yourself some space

You may physically leave a situation until ready to deal. You wanna remain calm. Or mentally put down an issue. Either way as long as you return to the problem this is more than acceptable.

Advice that is easy to follow

9. Try Meditation and self hypnosis

There are so many benefits to either mediation and/ or hypnosis. Both give access to the subconscious mind which is most helpful because change of habit happens there. If I learn how before posting this I’ll leave some links to videos I use for hypnosis and books I listen to as well.

10. Stay on top of stress

Stress makes dealing with emotions difficult. Even the chillest of folks have a hard time maintaining composure during high stress times.

Stress reduction is most important in keeping your emotions in check. Mindfulness is super helpful with managing stress and meditation and yes hypnosis.

Other ways to manage stress

  • Getting enough sleep
  • Self care with friends
  • Exercise
  • Being in nature
  • Making time for relaxation and hobbies


Sometimes we can’t manage on our own and we’re emoting all over everyone. This is bad news. Luckily you can go see a therapist. Truth be told many mental disorders have mood instability as a symptom. Personality disorders, bipolar disorder, and also trauma.

Therapists offer compassionate help that is judgement free while you learn to regulate emotions manage stress and gain better coping skills.

Statistics say if left unchecked these mood swing issues can cause much damage giving us unhealthy coping skills including but not limited to Self harm and suicide.

Hard at work

That concludes this article. Comment share get involved.

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