Maybe it’s just my experience but those closest to me are the weirdest and most honest and vocal humans in existence. Is that a reflection of what is jillanne? Unique and opinionated is more appropriate.
What do they think?
Since starting this blog some friends and another slightly closer have shared some of their opinions. They were all men.
Another’s perspective is golden.
Hearing others thoughts on most subjects [including gender equality] is the reason for living. Opposing ideas invoke thought. Trying to understand the perspective of another human being is crucial. They were defensive when sharing their thoughts. First of all men today can hardly be held responsible. I’m not angry with men. This is just what we were born in.
A couple of friends felt these articles hypocritical.
If they read any revisions or even rough posts they’d notice how wrong they are. Time to clear up any misconceptions.
Psssst don’t tell anyone, buuuuut….
Surprise! years of doing things without thinking of others made for many dramas. Running into wall after wall making enemies and looking like an idiot. Even to this day following my own rules is sometimes hard. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment.
How can we help.
No I’m not an ideal role model. Not in my opinion, but the need is there. I try to do right even in my human self centered condition.
I can speak to a group of girls that may be more like me. Unpolished unrefined and sadly uneducated.Trying not to be a hypocritical hot mess. Just trying to make things better and be a part of something bigger.
Being a female working with primarily guys you will find Haters.
For the most part if you’re exuding confidence, practicing selective socialization, and doing your job your coworkers will be supportive and sometimes even playful. Where I work is fun because of the people that work here. That is for the most part. You’ll find those that speak to you as if you’re a child. You’ll find those that give you the wrong information on purpose so you’ll mess up. Dangerous. You’ll find those that will not even acknowledge your existence. There’s always those that believe women are on this planet for their pleasure being crude rude and downright perverted. You’ll even find those that are openly hostile. It’s because of all these types we keep notes and keep to ourselves.
We all need a little help sometimes.
You can’t avoid asking for help sometimes. It’s work and unless you’re super human you’re gonna run across problems you may not be equipped to deal with. It was uncomfortable asking a known hater for help. It didn’t go bad but a couple of times. Bosses hate hearing “but he said…” they want to hear you own up. Accepting responsibility for things not my fault was not ok. The best thing is to rise above this. The positive effects of doing the thing wrong is you’ll remember the right way better or at the very least know NOT to do it like that rotten person said. To avoid this trap ask more than one person. Call or text if necessary. Make sure you document the incident.
I’m not stupid damn it.
This particular behavior really makes me angry. This particular “hater” is more than annoying. The thing is coworkers can be competitive and will try to make you Look and feel dumb. I distanced myself from coworkers because of these games.
I’m not invisible dude
Out of all the “haters” mentioned in this post the person that’s ignoring, you is the easiest. He’s’s not putting you in danger on purpose. He’s not trying to really do anything but ignore you all together. This could be a problem if you’re forced to work together. Don’t push these guys. Sometimes they need more time than the others for you to show them you’re about it at work so just be patient. They don’t wanna get themselves in trouble and that keeps you outta trouble.
Work isn’t a place to fraternize.
Ok I get it. I work with some attractive hard working men. It’s so easy to say fuck the “don’t date at work” rule and go out with a coworker. My God, is this a stupid thing to do. It starts as basic sexual harrassment. Instead of reporting it like you should have this creep will wear you down till you date him. So many bad things can happen Fact is ladies we need to set our boundries and if they’re crossed you absolutely have to act. Some men just can’t control their mouth or even their hands. Unacceptable. Plain and simple. You are worth more than what’s between your legs. Don’t let anyone demean you in this way at work. Many will lose respect for you and you don’t want that.
Someone needs a chill pill foreal.
running into someone openly hostile towards you is scary. Verbal hostility happened to me before. Telling the company you work for and documenting any verbal hostility is a good course of action. Your notes need to be thorough and dated. As far as physical hostility at work is concerned, it’s not happened to me yet. If a man has physically attacked you there’s no other option but to report this. Feel sorry for this man’s romantic relationships. If he’s doing this to you, a coworker, then imagine how he treats those he loves and is around him in personal life.
“Haters” are all over. They’re at work and in our personal lives. “Haters” gonna hate and that’s fine. Keep doing you. Stay focused on your goals and appreciate your “fans” watching and criticizing your every move.
Thanks again for reading my little article here. Check out more.
Hello every one. Another great day in the quarry. Day shift has been great this time. The good guys win and it feels amazing. Also I out shined myself. Thanks to this blog I found my confidence. Talk about hard lesson learned. Just that alone has changed my entire life. Blog and boss helped build that confidence in myself and my work.
That being said, doing research for my next article has brought something out. My next article is about men doing more “feminine” type jobs. We don’t encourage our young men to cross that line. I figured it was about the money…. what I have learned struck me. We all know I’m not a feminist who hates men for the sake that they are men. I love the opposite sex. Most of my friends are men. I’m heterosexual so there’s that. But what I learned made me angry. I don’t blame our men. I honestly haven’t learned who is at fault here. FAULT MATTERS VERY LITTLE. JUST A SOLUTION.
How can we change an entire societies views on all things feminine?
This blog is starting to gear towards the movement.
when this was started I just wanted to get a simple message to girls that they can do whatever they want even play in the dirt all day and get paid. I knew very little about gender equality tho it’s been a big part of my daily life for decades. In doing TH3 WORKS here on WordPress I’ve had to research issues because I want to be accurate in my info and message. Ladies this issue isn’t just in this country it’s world wide. And it’s not just an employment issue. It’s an out right discrimination against all things feminine. Now some people may blame our men. I’m not thinking that. How did this happen? We are mothers and beautiful.
Thinking of starting up donations to bring awareness.
I hate that not enough folks are educated on the facts. Even me. I’m barely scratching the surface here.
Let’s just get it out in the open right now. For many labor and construction gigs a person needs little education. Still they can support a family of 5 with their paycheck. I call that “man money”. At 23 I found myself unable to work in casinos for a while and I only had a GED so basically no real chance to make any real money. In 1 month I could have my commercial driver’s license making nearly 20 an hour. 20 bucks an hour was going to change my life.
2. Challenging and rewarding work
The challenge isn’t just the work. It is silencing a mind that wakes up saying “you don’t belong here. This job is too good for you. You are an imposter”. It is ignoring folks that wanna convince you the same. It is being afraid of doing a certain thing and then doing it anyway to succeed and feel confident and even pride for your accomplishments. The gratitude, pride, and confidence are some of the rewards.
3. Standing for equality
Just suiting up and showing up is doing more than getting you a weekly paycheck. You are helping to change the world and how it views women. Especially if you follow a few simple guidelines. Talk about making a difference no more. By doing what you do in a male dominated field you become the change. How easy? Stand tall and feel like a boss ass babe cuz that’s what you’ll be.
4. A large family of brothers
Yes ma’am this right here is fact. In some articles you’ll read how to avoid the bad seeds or how to manage them. Truth be told the majority of men you work with are supportive and want to protect you. It is such a good feeling. Just go in do your job to your best ability and mind your business and your brothers will have your back.
5. A role model
A young girl will see you and what you do and think “wow I wanna be like her” without seeing women doing these jobs they won’t even think to try. You get to be a reason another little girl will go after what she really wants. Get it, girl.
As far as the construction trades are concerned this is true. Today is a perfect example. Running big rock trucks in iffy spaces dumping over edges very safely probably. It was an amazing and challenging day. I love my job. Today I got many “atta girl”s and faced a few fears. Um talk about feeling strong and independent. The money means not having to depend on anyone but yourself to make it. Buy your own car your own home and your own vacation.
Now you see only a few solid reasons why to pursue a career in a field not necessarily tailored to our gender. 6. reasons that inspire.
my experience has been in the construction trades but I’m positive these tips are universal.
Nobody said this was going to be easy.
Here we are 2021 and women are still fighting for equal rights. Having the issues that we still have seems unrealistic. The tips on this article comes from experience. Not just mine. Read many articles reports other blogs like this one to make sure this advice is sound and highly recommended. Women paid for this knowledge and not in cash. Paid in tears, reputation, lost hours, and pride. Hopefully someone can learn from the mistakes of those that came before them avoiding having to feel shitty each time these issues come up and they failed to meet the demand. It’s ok to make mistakes. That’s one thing you really need to give yourself room to do. Ok let’s dive into the article.
1.Confidence is crucial
If YOU’RE not confident in your abilities then how can you expect anyone else to be. You’re a trained professional. You were hired to do said job. Girl, you got this. Straighten up your back, Make your presence big, Smile and go do your job. Also [this is a 2 part tip] be confident in who you are as a person. Know yourself. It is really easy to try to blend in more by changing your appearance and behavior to seem more manly and tough. The “tough guy” act only alienates you further. If you normally like to dress up like a girl then dress as a woman going to work. I work a construction type of job so I can’t be too girly but fitting clothes and a dash of make up do wonders for a girl’s self esteem. Plus it makes you look more put together. It also will help you feel more like yourself. This will also boost your confidence.
2. Stand up for yourself.
You know that saying the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Well in this that rings very true. You have to make yourself be heard sometimes. You may be quiet and mousey on your own time but working with men you’re gonna have to find your voice and make it heard. You may have to schedule a meeting with your boss or just stand up and make yourself be heard. It pays off having a big presence. Don’t be afraid to speak up, ask questions, or voice your opinion. It matters a great deal. In my career if you don’t speak up someone might get hurt or die. Those might not be the stakes at your job but everytime you’re heard women move fwd. Who cares if anyone thinks you’re a bitch?
“I believe anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experience behind him.”
3. Face fear head on.
Eleanor said it best. If you’re afraid of it then face it. Continue to face that fear till you no longer fear that thing. Fear is the biggest reason women aren’t reporting issues at work. I know this because I was too afraid to report an issue and it got so out of control it nearly cost me everything. Ladies if you’re being harassed or treated unfairly in any way you must go thru the proper channels and rectify the issue. It sets the whole movement back when things aren’t reported.
4. Keep detailed and dated notes
This is really important. It may not seem like such a big deal but everytime things weren’t getting written down it was needed. Everytime things were the notes were appreciated. Facts are best to be written as they happen. Dates notes that incidences have been documented in are used as evidence in a family court. Companies and unions tell us to keep detailed notes that are dated. They advise this for a reason. Take the advise and thank yourself later.
5. Keep your personal life to yourself
Do not share info about your personal life. This gives people room to find a way to manipulate or hurt you. Besides your coworkers do not care about your latest love interest or that your bff is dating 4 different guys. Keep that stuff for your personal friends. Work is for work and work related topics. Also do your best not to gossip. Believe it or not men seem to be the worst gossips. Just avoid that all together. It’ll keep you out of trouble.
6. Selective socialization
Like many of these tips selective socialization is just smart. There are many reasons for this to be applied when working with primarily men. First if all being too social will cause people to talk. Talk to much to a person suddenly your reputation is in question then you have a shit ton of new “work friends” be mindful of who you talk to and who is watching who you talk to. Secondly, as lame as this may sound that being too social will give a bad person more chances to find weakness to assert their own agenda. If someone wants to set you up or get you fired they will try to gather information. This may seem over board but it’s important to practice selective socialization.
7. Be aware of your surroundings
If you work construction you’re trained to keep watch for equipment and people, but this is different. You do not know who you work with really. You get around a group of men that are friends and coworkers they can plot against you. They will pump each other up. Something happens that is called Wolfpack mentality. These guys will believe they are protecting the others by trying to eliminate you. Be aware of your surroundings. You can likely catch something like this early with your detailed daily notes. Make sure if you notice a situation escalating that you speak to a superior and get it handled.
8. Mistakes happen. Learn from them.
I’ve yet to meet someone that didn’t mess up now and again. A few guys will demand perfection and if you don’t deliver they’ll ridicule you and use your mistake as a reason to say that’s why only men should be doing what you do. Back straight, head held high, and try again. You need to give yourself permission to make mistakes. If you’re also expecting perfection from yourself you will not be doing what you need to do for yourself. You’ll push yourself to hard. You’ll convince yourself you don’t belong there. Just don’t! Humans make mistakes. Learn from them.
9. Self care
Ok if your job is like mine there are times you could be working over 60 hours in a week. Cook dinner? I don’t think so. Forget about a shower. During those times rest seems like a fleeting memory. Friends are nonexistent in the rush season. All of the things⁰ mentioned are vital parts of our personal lives, no, vital to our very existence. Women we have to take Care of ourselves. If you’re feeling unwell take some time off. You should Take regular showers, Try to eat right, Exercise, and spend time with those you care about. Make time. Self care for mental and physical health are imperative to a long productive career.
10. Fight for equal pay
This has not been an issue for me but if it is for you try not to be afraid to fight. There are organizations and lawyers if necessary that’ll help you. Please know accepting a position in a job with mostly guys you have a responsibility, personal duty to hold yourself to a higher standard. Not just for yourself but for all the women fighting for equality. And we all fight. I may not fight for equal pay but I fight for respect and to be treated nicely at times. I’m lucky. The company I work for loves diversity and loves making a positive difference. But we fight against tradition and it is world wide.
11. It’s equal treatment not special treatment.
Something must be said about this before closing. We are not better than men. We don’t deserve extra. We want equal rights not more then the guys. No special treatment. Work hard, put in your hours, get your certs, and wear your ppe. Suit up show up and do the damn thing. You’ll not regret it.
Ok soooooo if you’re a woman and you work in a man’s world please share your story. If you’re anyone who writes and have knews or you just want to write an informative article about this subject please do. Until I’m funded any work is done as a gift per se. So if you bed practice this is the place.